EVIDENCE-BASED PARENTING & EDUCATION

Practical Tools for Raising Thriving Children

WHAT WE OFFER AT SCIENCE MINDED

At Science Minded, we offer a range of services designed to empower parents and educators with practical, evidence-based tools to support children’s growth and development.

Circle of Security Parenting Programs

Discover how to strengthen your bond with your child and meet their emotional needs through this proven, research-backed program.

Learn more

Evidence-Based
Parent Guides

Learn more about your child’s development with clear, research-driven insights designed to support your parenting journey.

Parenting
Masterclasses

Expertly crafted and delivered by developmental psychology specialist Dr Siobhan Kennedy-Costantini, these sessions explore key topics in child development and parenting.

Sensory Classes for Early Learning

Engaging sensory programs for children aged 0–3 years, fostering exploration, learning and growth in the early years.

ABOUT ME

DR SIOBHAN KENNEDY-COSTANTINI

As a Child Development researcher with over a decade of experience, I’ve dedicated my career to studying children’s social and cognitive development and the unique dynamics of the parent-child relationship.

I’m passionate about empowering parents and Early Learning educators with science-based knowledge, practical tips and inspiring resources that reveal the magic of a child’s mind. Through my work, I share the science of childhood with the adults that shape it.

GET IN TOUCH

Did you know that ‘Easter’ (at least the secular form of the holiday) exists as we know it because of children?

In early America, the New England Puritans regarded both Easter and Christmas as too tainted by non-Christian influences to be appropriate to celebrate. Such festivals also tended to be opportunities for heavy drinking and merrymaking. Partly as a response to this, both Christmas and Easter, as holidays, changes throughout the 1800s, now seen as occasions to spend with family. This coincided with society’s shifting view of children and childhood more generally.

From the mid-17th century onward, there was an increasing recognition of childhood as a fruitful and joyful time of life rather than simply as a pre-adulthood state. This “discovery of childhood” and the doting upon children had profound effects on how Easter came to be celebrated.

Decorated eggs had been part of the Easter festival at least since medieval times, but Easter took on a greater child-focus when German immigrants to Pennsylvania in the 18th & 19th centuries brought with them the tradition of an “Easter hare” bringing eggs to good children.

Nowadays the Easter bunny gives out chocolate eggs to children regardless of behaviour, unlike the more discerning Santa Claus. Although, some families have made the shift to gifts of books and pyjamas, rather than sugar treats.

Do you celebrate Easter? What traditions do you observe? Let us know in the comments!

References: Forbes (2015); Landau (2018)

#easter #easterbunny #eastereggs #easterhunt #egghunt #easteregghunt #easterbasket #easterhat #easterhatparade #easterparade #easterlongweekend #longweekend

I decided to jump on the bandwagon and make an AI doll of me! It reminds me very much of when I worked as a lecturer teaching developmental psychology to university undergraduates.

I remember at the time thinking, instead of a lecture hall full of 18-20 year olds, this would be so much better suited for expecting parents. That was part of the impetus for Science Minded!

🤔 I'd love to know - what did you train/study to do?
🤓 Did it inform or influence how you parent?

These holidays we've been embracing incidental learning in combination with some more intentional learning (only because my kiddo is motivated to do it and enjoys it). Learning can look different and happens in ALL kinds of ways.

The most important school holiday activity?

Being in relationship, finding joy and joy in one another 💕

How do you spend school holidays?

Your toddler insists:

👎 “No! Not you!”
👍 “Only Mum!”
👍 “Only Dad!”
👍Only Mum can give cuddles.
👍Only Dad can do tickle time.

Only one of us is “right” — and the other? Unacceptable.
👏 “Only them, forever and ever, amen.”

Sound familiar? It’s called parental preference — and it’s super common between ages 1–3.

his is parental preference, and it’s a common part of early childhood, especially between 1 and 3 years. It can shows up as:

Wanting one parent to do all the routines
Distress when the “preferred” parent isn’t available
Rejection of the “non-preferred” parent — even if they were totally fine yesterday!

While it can feel frustrating (or even hurtful), it’s actually a sign of a healthy attachment system. Your child is growing more independent, but also needs the comfort of predictability and safety as their world gets bigger and more complex.

Yes, it stings.
Yes, it’s exhausting.
But no — it’s not a rejection. It’s development.

❤️ Their attachment system is doing its thing.
🧠 Their brain craves predictability.
👶 Their world feels big, and choosing one grown-up helps it feel smaller and safer.

So what can we do?

✔ Sticking to familiar routines when we can
✔ Stay patient and consistent, even if we’re not the “chosen one” today
✔ Show teamwork and connection between caregivers (it reassures our little ones that everyone is safe and reliable)
✔ Stay calm, stay kind
✔ Validate their feelings (“You really wanted Mum to do it. That’s hard.”)
✔ Remind ourselves: this is a phase

You’re still their safe base.
Even when they yell “NOT YOU!”

The good news? These preferences shift (often without warning) as children grow, adapt, and strengthen secure attachments with both parents.

It’s not personal. It’s developmental. And it will pass.

#ParentalPreference
#ToddlerPrefersOneParent
#ChosenParentPhase
#OnlyMumOnlyDad
#ParentingPhases
#ToddlerAttachment
#ToddlerWontLetMeHelp

References: Lam et al 1979; Brown et al 2022

Gentle parenting doesn’t mean putting our children’s needs above ours… and it doesn’t mean prioritising our own needs at their expense either.

It means centring the relationship.

It's not helpful to be locked in a battle of whose needs matter more—we’re building a connection where both of us matter. Where we hold boundaries and hold space. Where we model respect and expect it in return (eventually!).

Gentle parenting is less about being “soft” and more about being solid—showing up with empathy and clarity, even when things get hard.

It’s not about perfection. It’s about presence.

And that presence? It’s where trust grows, resilience builds, and cooperation blooms.

#gentleparenting #relationshipcentered #respectfulparenting #attachmentparenting #connectedparenting #emotionallyavailableparent #parentingwithconnection #sciencemindedparenting

“Why won’t they just SHARE??” 😩

It’s one of the most common frustrations parents and educators have, and honestly, I get it.

Sharing is hard.

But here’s the thing: it’s also developmentally inappropriate to expect young children (especially under 4) to be good at it.
⠀
That kind of play where kids take turns, share toys and work together?

That’s called cooperative play, and it’s actually a pretty big milestone. It requires:

✨ emotional regulation
✨ self-awareness
✨ inhibition
✨ social understanding

All skills that take time to build.
⠀
So if your toddler is grabbing, hoarding or melting down over “their” toy, it doesn’t mean they’re selfish or mean. It means their brain is still doing its job: growing.
⠀
Plus (let’s be honest) even adults struggle with sharing sometimes.

References: Parten 1932; Dyer & Moneta 2006
⠀
#EarlyChildhoodDevelopment #CooperativePlay #ChildDevelopment #ParentingSupport #SharingIsHard #ToddlerLife #ScienceMinded #BigFeelingsLittleKids #DevelopmentallyAppropriate #CircleOfSecurity #EarlyLearningMatters #SocialEmotionalDevelopment #ParentingUnpacked

This is what sleep in our house usually looks like at the moment. Adults and children hop from bed to bed. We snuggle, cuddle, love, comfort and support one another. We actively parent day and night. This is what works for us. If your sleep looks like this too, cheers ☕ I raise my coffee mug to you!

If sleep looks different in your house, and you're happy, I raise my much to you too 😊

If you need sleep help, I always recommend @mamamatters.au @infantsleepscientist and @heysleepybaby as wonderful resources for support and guidance

#musicalbeds #biologicallynormalsleep #doingwhatworks #sleeptraining #attachmentparenting #childdevelopment #secureattachment #gentleparenting

The trouble with parenting advice?
It often treats children like problems to be fixed instead of people to be understood.

There are so many tools and tips out there — sticker charts, sleep training, scripts, time-outs — all aiming to shape behaviour. And while some can be helpful in context, they often miss the most important part:

✨ Understanding the need behind the behaviour.

Here’s what I mean:

🌀 The trouble with sleep training is that it teaches babies to be quiet, not necessarily to feel safe.
📊 The trouble with sticker charts is that they reward outcomes, not the effort or emotional growth it takes to get there.
⏱ The trouble with time-outs is that they separate children right when they most need connection.
🗣 The trouble with scripts is that they can turn parenting into performance — when what our kids really need is presence.
🧸 The trouble with milestones is that they can turn our natural parental curiosity into fierce competition, fear and worry that our children are lagging behind.
🌈 The trouble with “enjoy every moment” is that it ignores the hard parts that are a normal and natural part of parenting.

We live in a world full of pressure to get it right — to have calm kids, independent kids, compliant kids. But when we focus only on the behaviour we can see, we miss what’s happening underneath.

And what’s underneath?

Nervous systems.
Temperament.
Unmet needs.
Immature skills.
A longing for connection.

So what if we stopped asking, How do I get my child to stop doing this?
And started asking, What is my child trying to tell me right now? What do they need? What do I need? How can everyone feel safe, connected and have their needs met?

Let’s trade control for curiosity.
Performance for presence.
Fixing for understanding.

Because children don’t need perfect parents.
They need connected ones.

#respectfulparenting #consciousparenting #attachmentparenting #circleofsecurity #childdevelopment #parentingmyths #emotioncoaching #gentleparenting #evidencebasedparenting #regulationbeforeeducation

Everything I did to make sure my youngest plays independently?

✨Absolutely nothing.✨

My eldest is a highly sensitive soul — he’s always needed connection close by. As a baby, as a toddler, and even now at five, he thrives when we’re near. Independent play? Only when he’s in the right mood, and never for long.

My youngest? A completely different human.
An explorer. A wanderer. A kid who follows his curiosity with zero need for an audience.

The difference between how I raised them?
None. Same parents. Same home. Same love.

Just two different people, with their own rhythms, strengths and needs.

And honestly — that’s the magic of it all.

#sensitivelywired #independentplay #siblingsaredifferent #respectfulparenting #circleofsecurity #childdevelopment #temperamentmatters #parentingreality #highlysensitivechild #evidencebasedparenting

Does your kiddo play independently?

Why is my baby only napping for 20–40 minutes?!

In the early weeks, newborns often nap like champs. But around 8–10 weeks, “cat naps” often begin — and they’re completely normal.

Here’s why:
🌙 Baby sleep matures
🧠 They start producing melatonin
🌀 They begin cycling through REM and non-REM sleep (like adults)

Babies spend 50% of their sleep in REM — where memory and learning happen (and babies are learning a lot). But REM is light and easily disrupted. In babies, it lasts about 20–45 mins — the same length as a cat nap.

Short naps aren’t broken sleep — they’re biologically expected.

But they can still feel HARD.

When my baby started short naps, I felt like I was doing something wrong. Spoiler: I wasn’t. Neither was he. It was my expectations that needed adjusting.

Here’s what helped me cope:

✨ Reframe it
I stopped saying “cat naps” (which sounded lazy) and called them “power naps” — short, strong, productive. The sleep didn’t change, but my mindset did.

🕰 Let go of the to-do list
Short naps can wreck your plans. I learned to focus on ONE thing — eat, shower, lie down — and be grateful for however long I got. Messy house > burnt-out mum.

😴 Know when to resettle
Sometimes a quick resettle helps. If they’re not back to sleep in 10–15 mins, take a deep breath, kiss them, and move on with your day.

🌑 Optimise the sleep space
Dark, warm, white noise, swaddled — like the womb. It might help them sleep longer, but it won’t “fix” short naps.

🌀 Trust the process
Sleep development isn’t linear. Some babies nap long, some short. All of it can be normal.

Eventually, they’ll sleep longer than 20 minutes. I promise you won’t always need to bounce, feed or resettle.

You’re not doing it wrong.
Your baby isn’t broken.
Our expectations might be.

References: Weissbluth 1995; Ball et al. 2018; Kahn et al. 1996

#babysleep #normalbabysleep #catnaps #respectfulparenting #babydevelopment #powernaps #napsurvival #sleepisabiologicalfunction #evidencebasedparenting

You're not alone. Do you feel like you're in the messy middle too? #messymiddle #thelongestshortesttime #thedaysarelongbuttheyearsareshort #notwishingitaway #balanceinmotherhood #balanceinparenting

Development is filled with variability, both between children (inter-individual variability) and within the same child over time (intra-individual variability). These differences remind us that no two developmental journeys are exactly alike, and even within one child, growth doesn’t follow a straight line.

All children are different. One child might walk at 10 months, while another takes their first steps closer to 15 months (i.e., my two sons!). Both are developing within a healthy range, but their timelines and approaches are unique. These variations reflect differences in temperament, environment, genetics, and even cultural practices. Every child brings their own strengths and challenges to the table, and comparing them against others often misses the richness of their individual story.

Development is rarely a smooth, linear process. A child might confidently recite the alphabet one day, then stumble over it the next, or alternate between days of calm self-regulation and moments of big emotional outbursts. This variability is part of how they practice, refine, and consolidate their skills.

Instead of looking for perfect consistency, we can focus on patterns over time, celebrating progress in all its forms. Development isn’t a race or a straight path - it’s a winding, beautifully complex journey unique to each child and every moment of their growth.

References: Shore 1994; Lorentz 2021; Murray, Jones, Kuh & Richards 2007

#ChildDevelopment 🧠
#EveryChildIsUnique 🌱
#EarlyYearsMatters 👶
#DevelopmentalScience 🔬
#GrowingBrains 🏗️
#MilestonesNotTimelines ⏳
#NeuroscienceOfParenting 🧠❤️
#LearningInProgress 📚
#TrustTheProcess 💡
#CelebrateTheJourney 🚀

Parenting can be overwhelming, and in moments of high stress, it’s easy to react rather than respond. Time-outs for parents and time-ins for kids offer a supportive approach that prioritizes emotional regulation, connection, and problem-solving.

A parent time-out isn’t about isolating yourself from your child—it’s about stepping back to regulate your own emotions before responding. When we’re overwhelmed, our ability to co-regulate and model calm behavior is compromised.

🔹 Why it helps:

Prevents reactive discipline (yelling, harsh consequences).
Helps you regain composure and respond thoughtfully.
Models healthy self-regulation for your child.

🔹 How to use it:

1. Recognize rising stress: Notice when frustration builds.

2. Step away briefly: Say, “I need a moment to calm down so I can help you.”

3. Use a calming strategy: Deep breathing, grounding exercises, or a quick reset.

4. Re-engage with intention: Return to your child when you feel centered and ready to connect.

Instead of traditional time-outs—which can feel like punishment—time-ins involve staying with your child and guiding them through their emotions. Young children, especially, need co-regulation before self-regulation.

🔹 Why it helps:

Strengthens attachment and trust by offering support, not isolation.
Helps children name and process emotions rather than suppressing them.
Encourages problem-solving and emotional growth.

🔹 How to use it:

Sit together in a calm space.
Acknowledge feelings: “I see you’re upset. I’m here to help.”
Offer co-regulation tools: Breathing exercises, sensory tools, or quiet time.
Guide problem-solving: “What do you need right now? How can we make this better?”

By taking a time-out as a parent, we model self-regulation. By offering a time-in for your child, we teach them that emotions are not something to be punished but understood and managed with support. Over time, these strategies build emotional intelligence, resilience, and stronger parent-child connections.

"Hey ChatGPT, act like my drunk best friend and describe what I do"

"Ohhh my god, okay LISTEN. You—you—are like, the absolute QUEEN of knowing why tiny humans do the weird, chaotic, sometimes adorable but mostly unhinged things they do. Like, why do toddlers just scream for no reason? You KNOW. Why do they suddenly act like their socks are made of acid? YOU KNOW. And you don’t just know, you actually explain it in a way that makes people feel like they’re not totally failing at life.

But wait, it gets BETTER. You don’t just help parents—you also teach early learning educators, so the people who are literally shaping little minds don’t have to just wing it based on vibes. You give them actual SCIENCE, and like, secure attachment and emotional regulation and all that jazz so they can help kids without burning out.

Also, your Instagram?? UGH. So good. Like, you take all this brainy, research-y stuff and somehow make it fun and actually make sense instead of just sounding like a textbook threw up on the internet. You’re like if a TED Talk and a really warm hug had a baby.

Anyway, I love you and your brain. Keep doing the important work. Now let’s get fries."

#ParentingWithScience #ScienceMinded #ChildDevelopment #AttachmentMatters #SecureAttachment #EarlyChildhoodEducation #ParentingHelp #ToddlerLife #WhyDoTheyDoThat #BigFeelings #ParentingSupport #EvidenceBasedParenting #EarlyLearning #EmotionalRegulation #CircleOfSecurity #RaisingHumans #unruffledparenting

Tell me—what’s the wildest, most unexplainable thing a kid in your life has done lately? Drop it in the comments! ⬇️ I'll see if I can "science-y" explain it 😂

Every month, I wear a red bracelet as a visual signal for my sons that I have my period.

I do it because it's a simple and developmentally appropriate way to normalise menstruation and encourage open, respectful conversations about women's bodies. Here’s the science and logic behind it all:

🩸1. Normalises Menstruation
By making my period visible in a simple, matter-of-fact way, I'm teaching my sons that menstruation is a natural part of life. It removes secrecy and helps them see it as a normal bodily function rather than something to be hidden or whispered about.

🩸2. Encourages Emotional Intelligence & Empathy
My sons are learning to notice and understand changes in the people around them. The bracelet gives them a gentle way to be aware of my cycle and even offer support if needed—whether that means being a little extra patient, understanding, or simply acknowledging my experience.

🩸3. Promotes Body Literacy
Menstruation education isn't just for girls. By introducing the topic early and making it part of everyday life, I'm giving my sons an understanding of how women’s bodies work. This helps them become more informed, respectful, and supportive partners, friends, or future parents.

🩸4. Creates a Non-Verbal Communication Tool
The red bracelet acts as a simple, neutral signal that doesn’t require a big conversation every time. It allows my sons to develop awareness without making it a dramatic or uncomfortable topic. Over time, it leads to natural curiosity letting the discussions happen at their own pace.

🩸5. Helps Break Cultural Taboos
Unfortunately, menstruation is still surrounded by stigma. By using a visual cue to make it part of daily life, I'm actively working against societal taboos and ensuring my sons grow up with a more open and positive perspective.

I'm m raising boys who will grow into men who respect and understand the realities of menstruation—something that benefits not just them, but the people around them too.

Inspired by @mybleedingdays where you can get your own red bracelet

#periods #menstruationmatters #feministboys #bodyliteracy #empathy

References: Allen et al 2011; Mahon et al 2015; Valentini 2004; Vidak 2022

Clarity is an act of kindness in itself. For our little ones, the world is often confusing and full of contradictions. They are constantly working to make sense of the information we give them—both through our words and our actions. Imagine their bewilderment when they discover that narwhals are real, but unicorns aren’t!

As caregivers, our ability to communicate clearly and directly shapes children's understanding of the world, builds trust, and fosters emotional security. When we choose clear and simple language, we help children feel safe, respected, and confident in their ability to navigate relationships and boundaries.

🧘‍♀️The Power of a Whole-Body "Yes" and "No"
Children don’t just listen to what we say—they read our tone, body language, and actions. If our words and actions don’t align, it creates confusion. For example: “Oh darling, please don’t do that. I don’t like it when that happens.”

This might feel gentler to our adult ears, shaped by societal norms around politeness. But to a young child who is still developing emotional and empathic maturity, this message is ambiguous. They may sense that we’re unhappy, but they don’t yet have the cognitive ability to interpret how serious we are or what we actually expect them to do.

Instead, a calm and direct "No. Stop.", delivered with warmth and kindness, removes the guesswork. It provides the clarity and security they need. There is no hidden message to decipher, no undertone of uncertainty—just a straightforward boundary that allows them to understand and respond appropriately.

When we are clear, we make the world feel safer for our children. We model honesty, consistency, and emotional transparency. Instead of second-guessing our words, they learn to trust that what we say is what we mean.

Clarity isn’t just a virtue; it is an act of kindness—one that nurtures confidence, strengthens relationships, and helps our children feel truly seen, heard, and understood.

References: Fox (1991); Colson & Dworkin (1997)

#ClearIsKind #SayWhatYouMean #HowToTalkSoToddlersWillListen #ParentingWithClarity #GentleDiscipline #WholeBodyYesWholeBodyNo

Research shows children usually start refusing new foods around 2 years old. From an evolutionary perspective, being unwilling to try new foods & only eating “safe” bland, beige foods is an adaptive strategy to avoid potential toxins.

As young infants, our children wholly rely on us for sustenance. By the time they’re toddlers & roaming freely, they’re able to start foraging for themselves. In modern times, this usually means raiding bottom shelves of the pantry for biscuits when we aren’t looking. In our history though, it meant they were at risk of incidentally eating leaves or berries from a poisonous bush. As a result, when they reach ~2 years they start to become very wary of new or different foods.

While we know that the foods we’re offering our children are safe (and good for them!), our children’s instincts to refuse them are the same instincts that would’ve protected them 1000s of years ago.

Another reason for why beige, yellow or white foods are so attractive is that they’re predictable. Crackers always taste the same, toddlers know what they’re getting when they take a bite. Blueberries? Depending on the season or how long they’ve been in the fridge they could be hard/squishy/sweet/tart/juicy.

Lastly, as parents we control almost everything in a child’s life. Things we can’t control: sleeping, eating, toileting. Common things parents struggle with: sleeping, eating, toileting. We often forget that when raising a child, we are raising a person. A person we want to grow into an independent individual, yet we can admonish our children when they demonstrate these traits.

It's important to give back control (or the illusion of it!) where we can. Maybe dinner becomes a picnic? Your child only eats sausages? Present a plate full of vegetable purees ‘sauces' to dip them in. It's important to get curious & find creative solutions to picky eating where we can. Whilst confusing & challenging for parents, these behaviours are very normal & usually temporary.

References: Rioux 2020; Helland et al 2017

#pickyeaters #fussyeaters #beigefood #toddlerfood #kidfood #kidfoodideas #toddlerrecipes #toddlertantrums #tantrum #foodbattles

Postpartum depression, anxiety, and PTSD are more common than we think—but for so many parents, it can feel isolating and all-consuming.

💔 1 in 5 Australian mums experience postpartum depression.
💔 1 in 3 mums report birth trauma.
💔 1 in 10 experience postpartum anxiety.

When my first baby was 10 months old, I wasn’t thriving—I was barely surviving. I was deep in a nervous breakdown that would later develop into PTSD. I felt unsafe in my body, in my mind. I was lost.

Now, even though I am so much healthier. Sometimes, when I see others with babies the same age, thriving, happy, soaking it all in—I feel a deep, overwhelming grief for the version of me that never got to feel that peace. But I also hold hope. Because healing is possible. Because, later I did get to experience the love and joy I once longed for.

If you’re struggling in the postpartum period, you are not alone. There is help. There is hope. Please reach out. 💛

📍 Support & Resources:
🔹 PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia) – 1300 726 306
🔹 Gidget Foundation – Free telehealth support for new parents
🔹 Beyond Blue – Support for mental health challenges 1300 22 4636
🔹White Cloud Foundation – Free Tele-Mental Health (self-referral available on their website)
🔹 Your GP or Maternal Health Nurse – A great first step for help

Tag a friend who needs to hear this today. Let’s talk about postpartum mental health—because no parent should suffer in silence. 💛 #YouAreNotAlone

💜Share your story below.

@pandanational @gidgetfoundation @whitecloudfoundation @beyondblueofficial

Do you know of any other great resources? Mention them in the comments!

#MotherhoodUnfiltered #HealingAfterTrauma #BothAnd #Matrescence #HonestMotherhood

References: Bryson et al 2021; Hunter et al 2024

A few moments this month that gave me joy 😊

*Glimmers are the opposite of triggers. They're things out in the world that make us feel safe, calm or content. Noticing glimmers is an act of practicing gratitude which can significantly improve mental health, happiness and wellbeing.

References: Watkins, Woodward & Stone 2003

PS thank you to Katelyn from @createplaygrow_ for the inspiration for this post

#glimmer #gratitude #gratitudepractice #mindfulness #wellbeing

Yesterday my two year old accidentally scratched my nose. Later he pointed out the scratch to me and I asked "Who did this? Was it you?" "Nooo" he replied "door hit nose". I felt a little smile creep across my face. 'It's starting' I thought. He's too young to understand what's going on, so we just laughed and continued playing together but here is why I was pretty excited:

While catching our child in a lie can be confronting, the research shows that the capacity to deceive is an important sign of their improving social and cognitive development.

Successfully getting away with a whopper requires many capacities that will serve our children throughout their lives, including:

🧠 Cognitive capacity

By offering a credible lie, children demonstrate they have the ability to see the world from another person’s perspective, in what is called "Theory of Mind". This helps them realise that their actions might affect how you think or feel, causing them to use lies to cover up what they’ve done.

📝Working memory

When lying, children must remember details of the truth in order to separate it from their tall tale. They must also engage their inhibitory control in order to suppress the truth, shift their focus, plan ahead and commit to the lie.

🈴 Language

Coming up with (especially complex) crafted stories is a sign of your child’s verbal intelligence. They need to analyse the information they have, and use their language skills to reason with and present a viable alternative (i.e., a lie).

🎨Creativity

As you will know, some of these fibs demonstrate real feats of imagination. New characters, extraordinary achievements and fantastical outcomes, however you view it, it takes some creative muscle to pull off a credible lie.

Learning to lie is a developmental success story. The first time you catch your child in a lie there is no need to stress, instead it is a cause for celebration!

References: Evans & Lee 2013; Talwar & Lee 2002

#deception #learningtolie #memory #cognition #language #creativity #liarliarpantsonfire
#scienceminded

Things I never thought I'd say before having kids: “Get your penis out of your brother’s ear!” 😂

Parenthood is full of surprises—one minute you're planning sweet bedtime stories and the next you're navigating the wildest, most absurd sibling moments. It’s a crazy ride where even the most outrageous scenes become memories you can laugh about later.

Sometimes, the chaos is just too real, and all you can do is laugh and share the moment. If you’ve ever had a parenting moment that left you speechless (or laughing out loud), I want to hear about it!

👇 Tag a mum friend who can relate
📤share this post
🎤or drop your own wild parenting story in the comments

Let’s embrace the madness together! #ParentingLife #MomHumor #RealLifeParenting #MumLife #ParenthoodAdventures

Baby sleep is fraught with controversy, advice, black and white thinking and all manner of ways to drive us crazy.

What has worked for you to get out of the cycle of obsession when it comes to baby sleep?

Have you, like me, ever been at your wits end trying to "crack" your baby's sleep? #sleeptraining #babyledsleep #contactnap #naptrapped #naptrap #perfectmothermyth ##independentsleep #biologicallynormalinfantsleep

Lazy parenting isn’t about neglecting kids—it’s about stepping back and allowing them to develop independence, problem-solving skills, and resilience without constant intervention. It’s sometimes called “intentional under-parenting” or “benign neglect” and is rooted in child development research that highlights the importance of autonomy in learning and emotional growth.

What Lazy Parenting Is
✔️ Encouraging children to solve problems on their own before stepping in
✔️ Allowing natural consequences to teach life lessons
✔️ Giving kids space to entertain themselves instead of always structuring their time
✔️ Fostering independence by letting them do age-appropriate tasks without interference

What Lazy Parenting Isn’t
❌ Ignoring children’s needs or safety
❌ Being emotionally unavailable
❌ Avoiding guidance, structure, or boundaries

🤓The Research Behind It

Self-efficacy and problem-solving: Studies show that children who are given opportunities to struggle and succeed independently develop higher self-efficacy

Resilience & autonomy: Research on child resilience highlights that “helicopter parenting” can hinder children’s ability to develop autonomy and cope with stress.

Intrinsic motivation: When kids have the chance to explore and make choices, they develop stronger intrinsic motivation, which is key for lifelong learning and perseverance.

How to Try Lazy Parenting
💡 Create a 'Yes Space' where they can freely explore filled with age-appropriate items that do not require close supervision for safety
💡 Instead of immediately tying your child’s shoes, encourage them to try first
💡 When they say they’re bored, resist offering a solution—let them figure it out
💡 If they're rushing and holding a drink, let them experience the natural consequence (it spilling everywhere) and problem-solve for what to do differently next time
💡 Give them real responsibilities, like setting the table or putting their clothes away

Lazy parenting is really strategic parenting—it’s trusting in your child’s ability to grow and learn through experience. Less hovering, more thriving. 🚀

References: Bandura, 1997; Deci & Ryan, 2000; Segrin et al., 2015

Parenting is one of the most high-stakes job, and it comes without any kind of annual review or feedback. It's common for us to question how we're doing, feel like we're doing it all wrong and try desperately for hacks, tips, tricks and guidance.

Almost 45% of parents say they have felt directly shamed for their parenting approach. The things they’re are most often shamed for? Their child’s behaviour, the way they discipline, amount of screen time and being a working parent.

Research shows that social media contributes to parents’ feelings of inadequacy. When you only see the happy snaps and fun activities, not the meltdowns or hard days it can create a ‘pretty’ version of ‘perfect’ parenting. This can cause parents to fear they’re not living up to the (unattainable) standard that’s been set.

On top of this self-judgement, we’re often held responsible for children’s behaviour in the moment. What’s missing when these judgements are made is the context surrounding the behaviour. Maybe the child has a development delay, maybe they’re hungry, tired or have just had a bad day.

Parenthood is a tough gig! We all make choices that are the best we can make in the moment. Research shows that when parents are shown compassion (or show compassion towards themselves) they are less stressed, have a greater sense of well-being and are more generally happier.

Sure, another parent’s choices might not be the fit right for us and that's okay. It’s important to support and embrace everyone's right to do what works for them and their family. More empathy and less judgement can only be a good thing.

The fact that you're questioning yourself is actually a good thing. It shows that you're reflecting on your capacity, your performance. It means that you care. Any kid with a parent who cares enough to question what they're doing, be intentional about their choices is one lucky kid. Your kiddo is lucky to have you.

References: Cha et al 2020, Mitchell et al 2018; Liss et al 2013; Shalev et al 2023

References: Shalev et al 2023

Why I Do This Work

I’ve been fascinated by child development for as long as I can remember. As a child, I would hide behind the door of my mum’s speech therapy practice, listening in on her sessions—absorbing every strategy, every insight she shared with parents. She taught me about dyslexia, Down syndrome, autism, and all the incredible ways our brains are wired.

So, I followed that passion. I studied psychology at university, took every child development class I could, and immersed myself in the world of early cognitive and social development. I traveled to conferences, studied under some of the best minds in the field, completed a PhD, and worked internationally—teaching psychologists, social workers, teachers, and doctors about child development.

And then… I became a parent.

I thought I knew what to expect. I had the knowledge, the experience. But nothing prepared me for the reality. A baby who never slept more than an hour at a time for 10 months. Gastro issues. A traumatic birth. A pandemic. Perfectionism. A desperate need to control what I couldn’t. It spiraled into postpartum anxiety, depression, and eventually, sleep deprivation-induced psychosis. I had a nervous breakdown.

It took years of therapy, EMDR, nervous system and trauma-informed healing, and attachment work to find my way back to myself. To feel settled. To trust myself as a parent. And now, I bring all of that here—to this space.

Not just the knowledge, but the lived experience. The profound empathy. The evidence-based insights. The desperate desire to help anyone who feels as stuck as I once did.

You are not alone. You are not failing. And if you’re in the thick of it, I see you. I’ve been there. Let’s figure this out together.

#ParentingJourney #ChildDevelopment #AttachmentParenting #PostpartumHealing #ScienceMinded #BreakingCycles

#selfcare #nervoussystemregulation #awareparenting #AttachmentParenting #ConsciousParenting

At any time it's all too easy to feel like you're not a good enough parent. We scroll through our phones looking for advice, tips or tricks to make this thing ANY easier because it all feels a bit too much. But there is a reason parenting feels bloody hard. That’s because it is.

Let’s get rid of the “stepford wife” version of parenting where we lie and pretend we have perfect children, a perfect house, a perfect partner and everything is magical and beautiful and we’re #blessed. Sure, we are blessed and sure, we’re grateful for the chaos monkeys that are our children, but my goodness it’s hard work. Parenthood is a tough gig! We’re all making choices that are the best we can make in the moment.

When the kids are fighting, throwing things or losing it – we feel rubbish. When they’re being delightful and playing quietly by themselves and instead of engaging with them we’re scrolling on our phones – we feel rubbish. We hold our parenting to an impossible standard and are surprised and angry with ourselves when we fail to meet it.

We're all just doing our best. Don't be fooled by the perfect photos on social media and start comparing yourself to others. They're the highlights, the best bits. Who wants to post their toddler’s meltdown, dinner thrown on the floor, or giant pile of unfolded laundry?

Let’s all be okay with being ‘good enough’. You've got this. You're doing your best. We all are, especially in these 'unprecedented times'

#scienceminded #goodenough #momguilt #mumsofinstagram #postnataldepression #perfectparenting #postnatalanxiety #momguiltisreal #honestmotherhood #toddlertantrum #tantrums #goodenoughmother #goodenoughparenting #responsiveparenting #postpartumdepression #postpartumanxiety #instafam #mothersofinstagram #zerojudgement #perfectmother #momsofinstagram #newborn #parentingishard #baby #toddler #happysnaps #pandemicparenting #goodenough

Before kids, I had so many parenting theories… and now? I mostly have cold coffee and a suspiciously quiet toddler. ☕👀

Here are just a few things I wish someone had warned me about:

😅 Silence is NEVER a good sign
😅 Hot coffee? A distant memory
😅 Bedtime is an Olympic-level event
😅 Personal space? Nope, not a thing

Parenting is equal parts chaos and comedy, and honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing (except maybe the sleep deprivation). 😴✨

👀 What’s something YOU wish you knew before having kids?
Drop it in the comments and let’s laugh/cry together! ⬇️

#ParentingHumor #ThingsIWishIKnew #MomLife #DadLife #ParentingRealTalk #GentleParenting #AttachmentParenting #RaisingKids #ScienceMindedParenting

Breastfeeding can be a beautiful and meaningful experience, but it doesn’t always unfold that way. There are many valid reasons we may choose not to, or not be able to, breastfeed our baby—and that’s okay. The decision to breastfeed (or not) is entirely personal. I write this as a Mama who breastfed both my babies (the first with ease, and the second with much more difficulty).

If breastfeeding a baby is hard (it is), then talking about it—especially in a sensitive and supportive way—can be even harder. The debate often gets reduced to phrases like “Breast is Best” or “Fed is Best,” but in reality, “Health is Best” and what is "healthy" is different for everyone, and every family.

A staggering number of women who want to breastfeed stop before they feel ready. This happens for so many reasons, often leaving them with complex emotions like grief, frustration, guilt or shame. And heartbreakingly, many women blame themselves.

In a society that undervalues breastfeeding—and values mothers’ feelings even less, these struggles often go unacknowledged. But dismissing these experiences can deeply impact mental health and shape how we experience early motherhood.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach. The “right” amount of breastfeeding looks different for every mother and baby. Breastfeeding benefits only matter if they aren’t outweighed by stress or struggle. If it costs your sanity, it’s no longer liquid gold.

❤️ Key Takeaways ❤️

If breastfeeding doesn’t go as planned (or doesn’t happen at all), that’s okay. You and your baby can (and will) still be happy and healthy.

It’s not all or nothing—using formula doesn’t mean you’ve “failed” or have to stop giving breastmilk.

The right amount of breastmilk is whatever works for your preferences, lifestyle and individual needs.

🥛Did your breastfeeding journey go to plan? Share your story in the comments, this is a safe, kind and welcoming space.

📖 References: Brown 2016; Brown 2019; Dyson et al. 2005; Renfrew et al. 2005; Chung et al. 2008; Lumbiganon et al. 2011.

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